I highly recommend the “3 minute game” that i’ve learned from Betty Martin and School of Consent :
your partner (let’s call him “he” for simplicity) asks you “how do you want to touch me for your pleasure?”, and “How do you want me to touch you for your pleasure? “.
Then you switch.
You are both responsible for expressing and upholding your boundaries. eg if he wants to do something or already doing something that hurts you , you need to say it.
In this way , you are both expressing what you want FOR YOURSELF, learning to GIVE your body or your touch to your lover, and learning to identify and uphold your BOUNDARIES.
You are learning to TAKE pleasure directly using your hands, and to avoid pleasuring the other when it’s your turn to take.
You can do this for 2 minutes or an hour.
You can do this with a friend that you are comfortable sharing touch with.
You can do this every day or every other day, and every time you will learn/experience something new.
I’m in a new relationship and we have given each other permission to take pleasure and ask for pleasure from each other . it’s so freeing to do this, for both of us.
Give this a try, share your progress and receive support and guidance in the private fb groups for Women and Men .