In the previous articles in this series, I’ve explained why most clitoral orgasms pale in comparison to deep vaginal orgasms.
I know it sounds crazy – Read more about clitoral vs vaginal orgasms, and why explosive orgasms might not really serve you.
There isn’t any problem with the clitoris itself. It’s a body part designed solely for pleasure.
The problem is with the conditioned response of touching your clit, and the side-effects of orgasms which originate from it.
However…
What if you could enjoy intense and prolonged clitoral stimulation, and turn it into meaningful and empowering continuous states of whole body orgasm?
This is indeed possible, and once you learn it, you will be able to do it within a few days. Most women who learn it, never look back.
So, How to do it?
1st stage – By yourself
Go over the previous articles and make sure you understand why and how clitoral orgasms aren’t so good for you. If you recognize that and relate it to your own experiences, it will be easier for you to do it.
It’s much easier to learn this by yourself, before attempting this with another person, since you have more control over the stimulation.
So, start practicing by yourself – That’s it, I mean masturbate, although it’s better to look at it as your ‘self pleasuring’ practice.
Self Pleasuring
Get yourself comfortable; set up a ‘love nest’ in your bed or a mattress; maybe take a long hot bath and massage your body with oil.
Start touching yourself.
Build your arousal and pleasure gradually, bringing awareness, touch and sensation to your entire body, specifically to your thighs, buttocks, belly, chest, breasts, hands, arms, neck and scalp, before starting to touch your genitals. The reason is that it’s important to activate your entire body so the sexual energy doesn’t stay confined to the genital area. It’s like doing warm up exercises before yoga.
If you aren’t feeling aroused, just try to caress your body and massage your genitals. Focus on the sensations. Do this daily and notice how your body opens and becomes more sensitive, pleasurable, and orgasmic
Note that there might be a feeling of fear or anxiety coming up. This might be related to the fear of letting go and surrendering into an orgasm deeper than you ever experienced. Either keep going, or pause to witness this fear, and understand there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Do Not Orgasm!
Learn to recognize when you are about to peak, when any further touch will bring about the orgasm. This is the ‘Point of No Return’ (P.N.R) for women. Stop stimulating before this point.
Notice if any of the following happens:
Your breath is becoming shallow and constricted;
Your muscles are tensed;
Your whole attention is focused on your genital area;
Your movements are becoming mechanical;
Your genital area is charged in a ‘Sharp’ or ‘heavy’ way;
You feel a sense of urgency.
This might mean that you are very close to the point of no return.
Pause, relax, breathe deeply and exhale long and slow, and do some of the techniques I mention below.
If your clit suddenly becomes hyper-sensitive and unpleasant to touch, or if you suddenly lose interest in what you’re doing, you probably had a clitoral orgasm.
That’s OK.
Arouse yourself again, this time stopping well ahead of that point.
The orgasm tool box
While you are building up, and as you are getting closer to the P.N.R, do the following:
Finger tracing – Move your finger from your clitoris, down and into your vagina, curling up your finger upwards, towards your pubic bone, and pressing there. This moves the pleasure and sexual energy away from your clitoris and into your vagina, bringing awareness, sensation, and later, pleasure. It’s also a great way to awaken and activate your G-spot.
Visualization – Visualize a stream of light, or heat, or energy, following the path that your finger laid, into your vagina. Later, you can also visualize this energy going up your spine, and emanating from the top of your head.
Affirmation – Say to yourself, out loud or internally, something like ‘My sexual energy is flowing into my vagina’ or ‘My whole body is orgasmic.’ Consider writing it down and sticking it on your laptop, mirror, or fridge.
Breath and Sound – Keep breathing fully into your belly, focusing on the exhale and making a long ‘Ahhhh’ sound as you breathe out.
Spread it – Keep caressing your entire body, and consciously move your hands from your genital area towards other parts of your body, specifically to your upper body. Imagine you are spreading and moving your sexual energy as if it’s a lump of butter that you are spreading over a toast.
Touch-It-All – Explore different kinds of touch, all over your body – caress, pull, squeeze, twist, pinch, press, stroke, fondle, brush, knead, massage and slap.
Squeeze – While stimulating your clit, and/or during the pauses, contract and relax your vaginal muscles in rhythmic repetitions. This brings awareness and sensation into your vagina, and helps you move the sexual energy up your spine. Experiment with different kinds of squeezes – short, long, pulling in, squeezing tightly, pushing out.
Some women ‘push out’ their vaginal muscles, which causes an explosive orgasm, or just a loss of energy. Similar effects to clitoral orgasms are experienced.
Some level of alternately pushing-out and pulling-in is pleasurable and beneficial, but it is important that women do not push out too much and lose their orgasm in this way.
Hip action – Allow your hips to undulate back and forth, side to side, and in circles. Let this movement expand to your spine, shoulders, head, and your entire body.
Whole body movement – It’s important to allow your whole body to move, twist, and undulate. It allows the sexual energy to spread into your entire body, and also builds sexual energy and pleasure.
The Pause – Every few minutes, pause completely, relax your breath and your body, and stop any movement. Allow the arousal to decrease before continuing.
Internal awareness – Focus your awareness inside your vagina, being aware of warmth, tingling, vibrating, pulsating, throbbing, or any other sensation, even if it’s numbness. Do this continuously, and specifically when you do ‘The Pause’.
Scheduled Breaks – Every 10-20 minutes of ‘Practice,’ pause and rest for a few minutes, to allow the energy to disperse. Maybe even stand up and go to the bathroom to wash your face with cold water.
Internalize it – One of the best ways to move sexual energy into your vagina is by applying internal stimulation using a dildo, or if you don’t have one, consider a cucumber, carrot or zukini. Try applying both clitoral and internal stimulation in the same time, while keeping your focus inside.
Gradually, apply more internal stimulation, and less external stimulation, until you are hardly touching your clit.
Yoga – I know it sounds weird, but if, during one of the pauses, you do one of the reversed positions of yoga, that would help your sexual energy move away from your genitals, and into your upper body. Specifically perform shoulder stand, hand stand, plow, and head stand. Keep it for 3-8 minutes or so. Make sure you receive guidance from a competent yoga teacher.
Surprise!
After doing this for half an hour or more, you might have an internal orgasm, or you might realize that you are already experiencing a mild state of continuous orgasm, which you can feel even after you stop touching yourself.
That’s another reason it’s important to pause and witness every 10-20 minutes.
The best homework you ever got
Try to do at least half hour of this practice every day, without reaching a clitoral orgasm by yourself or with your lover. The idea is to build enough energy that it starts emanating into your whole body, and later, into your life.
After a few days or at most weeks of practice, you will be able to receive more and more clitoral stimulation, and be able to transform it into prolonged internal or whole body orgasms.
2nd Stage – With your partner:
After practicing by yourself for a few days, it’s time to enjoy that with your lover.
A few reminders and suggestions:
Clarity – Explain to your lover that you don’t want to have a clitoral orgasm. Maybe send him a link to this article so he or she understands. Most people, women and men, aren’t aware of the negative side effects of clitoral orgasms, and the possibility for hours-long orgasmic states.
Communication – Make sure you communicate to your lover that your arousal is increasing and that you are close to peaking, so he slows down, and also so he learns to recognize by himself when you are getting close to the P.N.R.
Cunnilicious… – Experiment with Oral sex but be careful not to have a clitoral orgasm.
Go fingure it – Have your lover put his fingers inside you. Experiment with different fingers of both hands, and if you are aroused enough, with more fingers.
Vaginal massage – Also called Yoni massage (Sanskrit for sacred flower or sacred space) – This is a great way to move energy away from your clitoris, to arouse and activate all areas of your genitals, as well as connecting you to your feminine essence. Subscribe to the pleasure list (below) for specific articles about this beautiful art and practice.
No grinding! – In penetrative sex, don’t grind him, and make sure there isn’t too much clitoral stimulation. So many women need, or rather, believe that they need, intense clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
Be careful from the positions of ‘woman on top leaning forward’ and ‘man on top leaning forward’ , both of which causes your pubic bones to rub against each other and thus create increased clitoral stimulation.
He can help – There are also some specific things that your lover can do to help you turn clitoral stimulation into internal orgasms – I’ll write about it if enough people ask.
Give it a try
To conclude, you might be used to having quick&easy clitoral orgasms, and you believe that’s all there is to it.
Give it a try, experiment for a few weeks with what I suggest, and see how you feel.
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How is this working for you?
Are there more techniques that you use to internalize your orgasms?
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