Why I didn’t kiss anyone on new years eve

I land in Thailand on new years eve.

Sort out my room.
Get a bike.

Excited to be going to a party involving ecstatic dance, mini workshops and some rituals.

I’m staying at a resort with a private beach, with friends at a tantra teachers co-working month that i’m part of.

First sunset over the ocean.

Dressed in special cloths by my female friends.

The 15 minute drive to the venue is refreshing and exciting.

I arrive at the party.
Nice people.
The atmosphere is charged.

Might find someone to kiss with at midnight.

I dance by myself and with a few women.

Chatting with friends.

11pm.

I sit by the fire and meditate.

I drop in.

I realize what my intuition was calling me to do.

I want to be alone at midnight.

I am the one i want to be with.

That woman i was madly in love with in Australia – even if she would have showed up i would want to stay by myself.
I wouldn’t have kissed her.

The realization touches me deeply.

I am severing my energetic connections to other lovers, to all the major women in my life.

Nearly Midnight.

I am sitting in meditation by the fire under coconut trees and a full moon lighting up the sky.

People chatting or hugging nearby.

I am content.

I don’t want to kiss anyone at midnight.

I am the one i’ve been waiting for.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

I look at my own eyes.

I love you Eyal.

Eyal loves you Eyal.