“Edging” is the way you can turn clitoris stimulation into prolonged vaginal and whole-body orgasms. It involves recognizing your “Point of no return”, and an embodiment practice that uses touch, breath, sounds, visualizations and more.

Note: This article is for women and those who love them, and it’s taken from my female orgasm guide “Orgasm Unleashed – Your guide to pleasure, healing and power”.

In the previous article, we explored the differences between clitoral and vaginal orgasms – read it here. To summarize, clitoral orgasms are short and sharp “peaks” of pleasure. They involve local and superficial sensations that are often followed by a quick decline in pleasure and the clit becoming hyper-sensitive. In contrast, a vaginal orgasm is much longer, it feels different, it spreads throughout the body, and you can keep receiving stimulation and keep orgasming for long minutes, even hours (See the chapter “The one hour orgasm”).

But what if you could receive intense and prolonged clitoral stimulation, enjoy those sensations, and then turn them into meaningful and empowering states of whole-body orgasm? Would you be interested in trying?

Well, it is indeed possible, and you will be able to do this within a few days of practice. And most women never look back once they have learned to expand and extend their orgasm. It’s like having the best of both worlds – enjoying the ease and strong sensation of clitoral stimulation as well as the longer, deeper and more meaningful experiences of a vaginal orgasm.

Note that some women can enjoy dozens of clitoral orgasms with little to none of the side effects I’ve mentioned. That’s great. To discover the ecstasy and bliss of continuous vaginal or whole-body orgasms, it’s important that you decrease or avoid having a clitoral orgasm for a while. However, after you learn how to turn clitoral stimulation into an internal orgasm, you will be able to choose which ones you want to have.

If moving beyond clitoral orgasm is something you desire, you’ll need to find where your edge is.

Edging and the Point-of-no-return

Think back to a clitoral orgasm you had recently. Pleasure was building, increasing, rising, and then suddenly you start coming. Notice that there is a moment at which pleasure and arousal turns into a peak orgasm. This moment is called the ‘point-of-no-return’ or PNR. Passing this point in your arousal creates a cascade of physiological responses, a bit like an avalanche in the landscape. It triggers a series of vaginal contractions that scientists love to quote as the primary sign of orgasm. There is also a strong release of neurotransmitters in the brain and hormones in your body that cause the momentary sensations of pleasure, euphoria and joy. These natural chemicals might also cause mood swings and emotional effects that can last for a few days before they stabilize. This is especially the case following an explosive clitoral orgasm.

It is crossing the PNR that leads to experiencing an orgasm as a short and sharp peak. As we discussed earlier, this is how most people define and experience orgasm. But you can experience orgasm in other, more powerful ways if you choose. And the way to do that is to identify your PNR.

The best way to become attuned to your PNR is to begin playing with it during your self-pleasuring practice before moving on to partner exploration. When you are pleasuring yourself by arousing your clit, notice if you experience any of the following sensations:

• Your breath becomes faster, more shallow and constricted.
• You feel compelled to tense your body and tighten your muscles.
• Your entire attention is focused on your genital area.
• Your movements become more mechanical.
• Your genital area is charged in a ‘sharp’ or ‘heavy’ way.
• Your pleasure is increasing very quickly.
• You feel the desire to apply even more stimulation.
• You feel compelled to push down and out with your vaginal muscles (also known as ‘bearing down’).
• You feel a sense of urgency to ‘come.’

That moment when you feel the need to ‘come,’ to rush or to tense up is the moment just before the PNR. Once you cross that point, you will usually have a peak orgasm, and it will probably be an explosive clitoral orgasm. However, these short and superficial orgasms are stopping you from experiencing longer, stronger orgasmic states.

So, if crossing the edge of the orgasmic cliff creates the cascade and avalanche, what do you do instead? 

You don’t cross the edge. You pause.

What is “The Pause”?

Pausing during any sexual activity is one of the most important non-techniques that I know of. I discovered that when I pause while making love or when massaging a woman’s yoni, she often had a meaningful experience- she would orgasm, or cry, or have a deep insight about her life. Sometimes all three would happen. It’s as though she thought we were done, and something inside her relaxed and let go. That allowed her to express her stored emotions or caused the build-up of sexual energy to turn into an orgasm, naturally.

When I share the suggestion to pause during sexual activity, people are often surprised. Many people think that sex is just “going for it”. Sex scenes depict a vigorous ongoing activity resulting in a peak and then finally relaxation. Modern society is “Go-Go-Go!”. Instant gratification makes it more challenging to pause because people want the release, and they want it NOW!

The Pause is integrated into most practices in my female orgasm guide book “Orgasm Unleashed – Your guide to pleasure, healing and power” – Read a free sample here.

I prefer to call it “The Pause” and not use the verb “Pausing” which is an action, something to do.

The pause isn’t about doing but about letting go of doing. 

When you self-pleasure or have sex, pause for a minute every five to ten minutes or so. Relax your body and breath. Become present with sense perceptions, the sensations in your body, with your feelings and emotions. Connect with your partner via your eyes, breath, soft words or touch. When it feels natural, resume what you were doing earlier. This is a particularly good thing to do when you near your Point-Of-No-Return.

How do I do it? Embodiment practice – Edging

There is a technique called ‘edging,’ which can also be understood as ‘do not orgasm!’ It’s an excellent technique that can either turn clitoral stimulation into internal orgasm or a single orgasmic peak into a longer orgasmic state.

Again, it’s much easier to learn this by yourself before you attempt it with another person, since you have more control over the stimulation. It’s practiced in the following way:

1. Start to self-pleasure, first bringing love and touch to your breasts, then gradually make your way towards your yoni.
2. Use lots of oil to massage your pubic mound, your outer and inner lips and then your clitoris area. Build your pleasure gradually, while breathing, moving and making sounds. 
3. Be aware of any of the telltale signs of your impending PNR. Notice that there will be a moment when the pleasure or energy starts to feel very sharp, as if it’s rising quickly. You might feel compelled to apply even more stimulation, to tense your body, to tighten your muscles, to breathe faster or to bear down. You feel that you want to, you need to, you have to come!
4. PAUSE.

If you keep stimulating, you will probably have a clitoral orgasm, which might be pleasurable but will prevent you from learning how to internalize your clitoral stimulation. And you need to be able to do this if you want to turn short peaks of orgasm into long orgasmic states.

1. Instead, just stop all of the stimulation and completely relax your body. You can get close to the PNR but make sure you stop stimulating yourself before this point. Before it’s too late.
2. Take slow and deep breaths, with extra-long exhalations. The main thing you need to do now is to move your sexual energy away from your genitals. To do this, try touching other parts of your body, moving your hands from your genitals up your body, or touching the back of your neck. See more techniques below
3. When you feel that your pleasure has subsided a bit, you can resume your stimulation. Once again, build your arousal and pleasure until you are right back in that zone just before the PNR – then relax again. 
4. Keep doing this for at least twenty minutes, and preferably for up to an hour. You want to be able to constantly ‘edge’ yourself close and then stop on the verge of orgasm.
5. Make sure you don’t let yourself orgasm, not even an internal or whole-body orgasm, otherwise you will not learn this technique. But if you orgasm, that’s ok, just keep practicing. 

If, during this practice, your clit suddenly became hypersensitive and unpleasant to touch or if you suddenly lost interest in your practice, you probably had a clitoral orgasm. That’s okay. When you feel ready, arouse yourself again, this time stopping well ahead of your PNR. 

After a while of enjoying this practice, you might come to realize that, instead of having an orgasmic peak, you have been in an orgasmic state all along. In the beginning, it might feel like ‘just pleasure,’ but after doing this practice for a week or two and after half an hour of stimulation, you will start to recognize that what you are feeling is much more than ‘just pleasure.’ The build-up of sexual energy in this practice creates an orgasmic state, which you can feel even after you stop touching yourself. You may even have an internal orgasm. Surprise! Your orgasmic power is expanding already.

Good things come to those who wait. And those who wait – come.

And there are plenty of techniques you can try out that can help you to move beyond explosive clitoral orgasms and into the range of implosive internal orgasms.

Turning clitoral stimulation into an internal orgasm

Being able to stop yourself from experiencing a peak clitoral orgasm is the first step to cultivating a deeper and more internal orgasm. Once you can do that, you can enjoy clitoral touch and use a variety of techniques to spread your sexual energy to other parts of your body and increase the pleasure sensations inside your vagina.

Let’s look at a few techniques you can try now:

• The pause – As explained earlier, every few minutes during stimulation, pause and relax. Relaxation allows your sexual energy to spread throughout your body
• Finger tracing – Move your fingers from your clitoris down into your vagina. Curl your finger upwards, towards your pubic bone and press there. Repeat this movement. It moves the pleasure and sexual energy away from your clitoris and into your vagina, bringing awareness, sensation and pleasure. It’s a great way to awaken and activate your G-spot and it also creates a new neurological pathway between this area and your clitoris.
• Internal stimulation – One of the best ways to move sexual energy into your vagina is by applying internal stimulation. You can do this with a dildo (of the non-vibrating kind) or, if you don’t have one yet, consider a penis-shaped vegetable. Try applying both clitoral and internal stimulation at the same time, while keeping your focus inside your vagina. Gradually, apply more internal stimulation and less external stimulation, until you are hardly touching your clit at all and you can feel the pleasure increasing internally. More on internal stimulation – Later in the book.
• Internal awareness – Focus your awareness inside your vagina. Be aware of any warmth, tingling, vibrating, pulsating, throbbing or any other sensation, even if it’s numbness. Do this continuously, and specifically when you use ‘The Pause.’
• Breath and sound – Keep breathing fully into your belly, focusing on your exhale and making a long ‘Ahhhh’ sound as you breathe out. 
• Movement – It’s also important to allow your whole body to move, twist and undulate. In particular, allow your hips to undulate back and forth, side to side and in circles. Let this movement expand to your spine, shoulders, head and your entire body. This builds sexual energy and pleasure and also allows the sexual energy to spread into your entire body. 
• Spread it – Keep caressing your entire body and consciously move your hands away from your genital area and towards other parts of your body, specifically your upper body. Imagine that you are spreading and moving your sexual energy – as if it’s a lump of butter that you are spreading over toast.
• Touch – Explore different kinds of touch all over your body – caress, pull, gently squeeze, pinch, press, stroke, fondle, brush, knead, and massage. Experiment with different sensations – you might be surprised at what feels good!
• Visualization – Visualize a stream of light, water, electricity or energy following the path that your finger traces from your clitoris into your vagina (see ‘Finger tracing’), then going up your spine and emanating from the top of your head. This might lead to another type of orgasm that we’ll be looking at later.
• Squeeze – While stimulating your clit or during the pauses, contract and relax your vaginal muscles in rhythmic repetitions. This brings awareness and sensation into your vagina, and helps you move the sexual energy up your spine. Experiment with different kinds of squeezes – short, long, pulling in, or gently pushing out. Some women habitually ‘push out’ their vaginal muscles, which causes an explosive orgasm or just a loss of sexual energy. If your clit becomes hypersensitive, it might mean that you had an explosive orgasm. Some level of alternate pushing out and pulling in is pleasurable and beneficial; it’s just important that you do not push out too much or too often, and lose your orgasm in this way. And anyway, don’t “try” to push out, but rather let your yoni contract and convulse by herself.
• Affirmations – Affirm your orgasmic power to yourself. Say, either out loud or internally, something like, ‘I enjoy internal orgasms’ or ‘My whole body is orgasmic.’ Consider writing your affirmation down and placing it where you will see it often, such as on your laptop, mirror or fridge.

Now it’s time to practice.

Embodiment practice – From the clit, to infinity, and beyond !

Set aside 30-60 minutes when you will not be interrupted, and set up the space nicely.

1. Start to self-pleasure, first bringing love and touch to your breasts, then gradually make your way towards your yoni. Use lots of oil to massage your inner thighs, pubic mound, outer and inner lips.
2. When you’re ready, start gently touching your clitoris area. 
3. Use the techniques above – finger tracing, internal stimulation etc. – to move your sexual energy away from your clit.
4. Use the edging technique to stop before the PNR, so you don’t have a clit orgasm, otherwise you might have less energy and pleasure to, um, play with.
5. You might experience a vaginal orgasm or “just pleasure”. Enjoy the process, notice what IS happening.
6. Keep going for 30-40 minutes, or longer if it’s fun. 
7. It’s important you avoid finishing yourself off with a clit orgasm – The idea is to build up enough energy that it starts emanating throughout your whole body and, later, into your life. If you do, don’t beat yourself up, just try again to pause below the PNR.
8. Rest and share your experience in your orgasmic diary.

Aim to do this daily or at least 3 times per week, for a month or longer.

After you’ve read about “The #1 practice in this book” in section 3 “Reconnecting with yourself”, revisit this embodiment practice.

You might be used to having quick and easy clitoral orgasms, and maybe you once believed that’s all there was. But after a few days or, at most, weeks of practice, you will be able to receive more and more clitoral stimulation and be able to transform it into prolonged internal or whole-body orgasms. 

This might be the best homework you you ever got!

‘I had no idea about this, but it worked! I had lots and lots of goddess spot orgasms. First time ever. Beautiful. I cried a lot. It was so easy, but nobody ever told me how.’

This article is a small excerpt of my 250-page female orgasm guide-book “Orgasm Unleashed – Your guide to pleasure, healing and power” – Read a free sample here.