I land in Thailand on new years eve.
Sort out my room.
Get a bike.
Excited to be going to a party involving ecstatic dance, mini workshops and some rituals.
I’m staying at a resort with a private beach, with friends at a tantra teachers co-working month that i’m part of.
First sunset over the ocean.
Dressed in special cloths by my female friends.
The 15 minute drive to the venue is refreshing and exciting.
I arrive at the party.
Nice people.
The atmosphere is charged.
Might find someone to kiss with at midnight.
I dance by myself and with a few women.
Chatting with friends.
11pm.
I sit by the fire and meditate.
I drop in.
I realize what my intuition was calling me to do.
I want to be alone at midnight.
I am the one i want to be with.
That woman i was madly in love with in Australia – even if she would have showed up i would want to stay by myself.
I wouldn’t have kissed her.
The realization touches me deeply.
I am severing my energetic connections to other lovers, to all the major women in my life.
Nearly Midnight.
I am sitting in meditation by the fire under coconut trees and a full moon lighting up the sky.
People chatting or hugging nearby.
I am content.
I don’t want to kiss anyone at midnight.
I am the one i’ve been waiting for.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
I look at my own eyes.
I love you Eyal.
Eyal loves you Eyal.