When I coach men on how to become confident lovers, a lot of stuff comes up. There’s so much to learn and to do.
So here’s a short list of the most important things you can do to become a confident lover and bring your partner to ecstasy. Bear in mind, it’s just a quick list I’ve compiled:
– Long foreplay is crucial for a woman to really open up to you and to experience deep orgasms. It also helps you last longer.
– Talk with her as you are making love with her. Tell her how much you love her, how beautiful she is, what an amazing woman she is. Yes! you can talk while you are making love.
– Learn how to control your ejaculation and last longer so you can pleasure your partner for longer and also experience whole-body orgasms without ejaculating. Learn to recognize your point-of-no-return and stay well below it so you don’t ejaculate. Pause frequently, move your sexual energy up your spine and spread it throughout your body.
– Mind-body-lips-breasts-vagina – Remember this path and don’t miss any steps, even if you’ve been having sex for years (Especially if you’ve been having sex for years!). Start with talking and arouse her with your voice, presence and humor. Touch her hands, back, face before kissing her. Spend time kissing as this arouses women more than men. Kiss and bite her neck but be aware that some women don’t like it or they are ticklish. Only then proceed to her breasts. Spend time here. Make sure you touch her as she likes to be touched, not to satisfy your need to touch her. Extend your touch to her buttocks, upper legs, inner thighs but build up her yearning before touching her labia. Then cup her labia with your hand and just hold her. Make sure she is yearning to be penetrated before you penetrate her with your fingers or cock.
– Oral sex – Pleasure her with your tongue. Be aware that some women don’t like direct clitoral stimulation. Use your tongue, lips, mouth, and with caution, even your teeth.
– Ask her how she likes it. You don’t have to figure it all out. Many women will be happy to just tell you.
– Avoid clitoral orgasms. Clitoral orgasms are similar to ejaculatory orgasms. They are pleasurable but most women become hyper-sensitive to touch and lose some of their desire after they have a clitoral orgasm. Instead, keep her on the edge of orgasm for hours and it will become an orgasmic-state.
– Learn how to give yoni (vaginal) massage and you could bring your woman to multiple orgasms, g-spot orgasms, squirting orgasms, cervical orgasms and many other kinds. It’s also great when you are too aroused to enter her or after you’ve already ejaculated.
– Most men touch too fast and too strong. Build up with gentle and sensual touch first, and proceed gradually.
– Get your angle right. Most men only go in-and-out. Instead, go side to side, in circles, lean forwards and backwards and yes, also go in-and-out.
– Rhythmic thrusting – go for shallow, shallow, shallow, deep. Gradually increase the number of shallow thrusts until you get to 8, 12 or even 15 shallow thrusts to every deep thrust.
– Explore intensity. If you are conscious of your touch, you could explore very intense touch, penetration, and pounding. Many women actually yearn for men to ravish them, as long as they are conscious and considerate not to over do it.
What else have you found that makes you a confident lover?
Ladies, what would you like to add to this list?
Join the discussion in the comments below.
Here’s to your orgasmic, loving and sacred sex,
Eyal.